Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
