nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
