its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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