he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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