Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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