mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
In America we eat man semen.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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