I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
now i know why i became what i already was.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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