..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
