I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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