Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
