gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize