you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
