you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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