I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
