drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
