is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Girls should come with a carfax report
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
