We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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