so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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