peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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