i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize