I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
