she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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