I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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