go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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