Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
