oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
