; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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