yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
