The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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