She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
