Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
