As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
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I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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