He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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