God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
