we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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