Sry I called you an 8
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think i have herpe
just one?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
