i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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