how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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