we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
