We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
