i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
