I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
