He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
