just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
