Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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