FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
