dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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