I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
