Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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