Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
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Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
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I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize