how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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