im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
