I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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