One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
