and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
