Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
