I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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