You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
