shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Quick, to the slutcave!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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