She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize