So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
