I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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