Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize