OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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